9.29.2009

No Excuses ----

for not blogging. I should be able to blog and not dwell on the crap that is all around us these days. Part of me only wants to post when I have something fun or happy to share. Stress is not fun. Work is not fun. This economy is not fun. Lack of scrapbooking is not fun. Family disputes are not fun. Possible layoffs are not fun. Hearing horror stories of families on the street are not fun. Honestly ------ my anxiety is in high gear and I am struggling to find the joy in these situations. Don't get me wrong --- I smile and laugh and feel blessed everyday. My kids are happy and healthy and love on me all day long. My husband is present, healthy and hard working. I am safe, secure and healthy. So what is my problem? Why do I still dwell on all the things that are not fun? Why is this week different than last month or last year or 2001? Why could I get through all those times without dwelling on the negative --- but I can't seem to get through the day now? Why do I feel so scared and what exactly am I scared of?

I am sorry for the long, thought provoking post. It seems that everywhere I go I hear the stories. People out of work, people declaring bankruptcy, people on the streets, fear of coming layoffs ---- it's just not getting any better out there. In fact, it is coming closer and closer to being a reality for a lot of folks I know and love. We are trying to cut expenses, trying to tighten the budget and trying to increase the savings account. But then the unexpected happens --- the water heater explodes and the savings is cut in half. More stress --- more reality hitting us in the face. There are things I want for my kids --- sports being the most important. I need them to stay active, I need them to stay busy, I need them to want to excel in something they have control over. So, that expense stays in the budget --- but for how long? What is going to be cut next and why does it have to hurt so much? I'm not even talking about fun extra things like cable tv --- I'm talking about basics.

There, I vented. I got it all out. I put a face on my troubles and my anxiety and now I have to let them go. I'm giving them to the Lord ---- telling the world in this blog makes it real. I am not in control --- in fact, the world is spinning out of control and the only one who is in control is the LORD. He has a plan and I need to stop trying to control every situation that comes my way. I can't anyway. There is nothing about the world right now that I can control. Nothing.

I know the Lord wants me to find the joy and not to be concerned about tomorrow. That is HIS repsonsibility. He will protect me and get me through. He will always be there and not give me more than I can handle.

So, this is it ---- no more ignoring my blog. I need to blog even with a heavy heart. I need to find something happy to share every day. Something to bring a smile to someone's face. I need to identify the good things in life daily before I go to bed so that I can sleep and dream peacefully. This is my prescription for the crap that is happening in life right now. Let the LORD handle it and find something to smile about every day.

Do it with me --- blog everyday about something that made you smile that day. Find the joy --- pay it forward and tell us about it. I challenge you to get it all off your chest first and then give it to the LORD. It may not go away but the burden will be lighter. Thats my plan and I'm sticking to it.

3 comments:

Carla Clark said...

Kim - you are so right. I feel the same way- completely out of control of my life. Its disabilitating. I'm going to take on your challenge and post a moment each day that brought a smile to my face.

Megan said...

Excellent perspective Kim, find the silver lining in each day! I don't blog, but I certainly can find something for me to smile about, how about just waking up every morning to happy, healthy children and a husband who does get up in the morning (every morning) and goes to work for our family! Thanks Kim for reminding us what is important.

Jennifer said...

I love your perspective. Thank you for reminding me what's important - and what's not. Stay strong, friend!

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